I didn’t stop writing because I had nothing to say, I stopped because everything was happening at once.

The last month were heavy in unexpected ways. I was juggling a lot at work and quietly trying to rebalance life outside of it. Writing felt far away, and honestly, I almost forgot that I even have this blog. But now, I’m finding my way back.

I want to share a bit about what’s been happening during this time.

Personal Life

I have some big updates. During this “hibernation mode”, I proposed to my girlfriend after 5 years together, and she said yes. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid, but it felt like the right time to take the next step in our relationship.

Since then, we’ve been looking for a new apartment to live together. The process has been exhausting, especially for my fiancee, who has more flexibility to visit different places.

This new moment in my life also made me reflect on the choices that brought me here. Sometimes I catch myself comparing my path with other people’s paths and wondering what I still need to do to build the kind of life I want for my future family.

And one of the most painful topics that keeps coming up is my job, which leads me to the next part.

Professional life

As I said at the beginning, everything really did happen at once.

During this period, my manager resigned for personal reasons. It wasn’t a total surprise, but I didn’t expect it to happen so soon. I’ve been working with his supervisor since 2022, and he has always been a strong leader who helped me both professionally and personally.

With that situation unfolding, I spent the last month working intensely on the project of building a Data Platform from scratch. And without a clear leadership in place, I didn’t want the team to feel adrift.

So I tried to stay closer to them, not only as the technical lead, but also to understand how they were feeling and whether the changes were impacting them in any way.

I’m tired, yes. But I also know this is part of my responsibility as a senior engineer.

After navigating that troubled period and helping stabilize the team, I finally had some space to think about my own career and the next steps I want to take.

I’ve already set a few goals in my mind, things that can help me level up professionally and also support my personal goals in this new phase of life.

But even with all of that, when I think about my career, imposter syndrome hits me hard. I feel insecure, like I’m just a drop of water in the ocean. Sometimes it feels like I still haven’t made a meaningful impact anywhere.

That feeling has been troubling me lately.

Maybe that’s why I came back here to write. Writing helps me organize the noise.

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So that’s where I’ve been, a mix of life changing, work shifting, and emotions catching up. I’m not here with answers, only honesty. And maybe that’s enough for now. I’ll keep showing up when I can, because writing helps me breathe, think, and feel less alone in the noise.